……minding my own business working on an outline for a book when….BAM!  Hello grief.  Nice of you to visit.  Sneaky little devil aren’t you!

I’m sure many of you folks are like this a bit, but the volume of thoughts running through my brain can be a trifle much at times.  The triggers are often like dreams, on the edge of conscious thought but carousing in the back alleys of my brain.  Then like a kid playing in the street they pop out from a parked car and make your slam to a stop.

So I’m not a machine.  Apparently there is a human lurking within.  It is a time that I am most vulnerable to regret, to doubt, to fear, to loneliness.  I allow it to be.  I welcome it.  Only when you have lost someone so vital to your being can you experience such emotion.  I am blessed with a past.  A past of love and heartache, of anger and joy, of depression and euphoria, of hope and despair.  It’s all there.

Here is the thing.  Without a past, there is no future.  Without sadness, there is no joy.  Without despair, there is no hope.  We are complex.  The Yin and Yang of souls.  The beach above is better walked with a friend but can still be appreciated alone when accompanied by a memory.  Like Rylee pictured above, a canoe ride can be the most delightful form of travel when you work together, but with proper technic can be handled alone.  We are not always handed the easy to do plans tied with a pink ribbon.  We have to figure it out.  My friends, there is no blueprint laid out before us.

It’s life and I accept the challenge and the consequences.  I’m going to be wrong….a lot!  I am, however doing the best I can to accept the fact that the future created in the mind is seldom the path you travel.  So TRAVEL IT!  Enjoy the road and its difficulties.  At the end of the trip you will remember the walk on the beach and the canoe ride and you will forget the detour.  All the better enjoyed with another.  I know this because I have done it and I am so much better a person for it.  I am so lucky to have loved.  I am blessed with a past.

There I was minding my own business……

Peace and Joy my friends.